But, during my Ian pregnancy, the filter-less comment was, without fail: "Oh my, you are having them so close together! Was it on purpose??" (or variations on that theme). Really, I don't think there was one person I came across during my pregnancy who did not, in some way, shape, or form, ask me this question. The majority of you were just curious, and meant nothing by the comment - and actually, most of the time, that's how I took it. I am definitely aware that I had my boys close together, and I was acutely aware of this while I was pregnant, so it was usually okay for well-meaning people to inquire. But there were, of course, any number of people whose comment came with a condescending facial expression or snide remark (my personal favorite: "You guys must not have figured out what was causing this problem, heh heh!"), and whose comments were not meant in good fun. All of you pregnant chicks, recently pregnant chicks, or spouses-to-a-preggo understand the difference here.
So, condescending facial expression givers and snide comment makers, this post is addressed to you. Why did I have my kids so close together, you wonder? Because I wanted to. My boys are starting to play with each other, and, just as I'd suspected, it's the most wonderful thing I've ever seen. They already love each other - Joe has adopted the big brother role with relish, and it's astonishing to see how much Ian already idolizes, follows, copies, and watches Joe. One of Ian's favorite things to do is to be in his walker and follow Joe around all over the house, for basically his entire awake period of the day. And Joe has recently busted out his old ride-on toys, which have been collecting dust in the corner for about 6 months now, so that he and Ian can race around and play together. It's adorable.
Sometimes when Ian is taking a nap and John and I are just hanging out in the house with Joe, I get a feeling for how lonely it would be without Ian around, for us and for Joe. I grew up with a brother very close in age and a house full of kids, all the time, until the day I moved out to go to college. I wouldn't trade that for the world, and, without even fully realizing it at the time, it was exactly the feeling I wanted to give Joe (and my future kids) when I was so gung-ho about having Ian quickly after having Joe.
I know several of you will have a thought to the effect of: "Yeah it's cute now, but just wait until the constant fighting starts!" But you know what? The fights and nit-picking are some of the best parts of it, for the kids at least. I'm sure I'll want to pull my hair out. But they will have fun, and memories - just like I do about my family. In fact, my dad wrote this post about this exact subject matter. I think I can venture to say that it was one of his favorite things that he did with respect to his family - he and my mom were the orchestrators (yep, probably made that up) of a family that would be full of fun, happiness, and love without them. So, yes, I had them close together on purpose, and I am very, very happy I did.
